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#Tired

Assalam and Hi Everyone!

Okay, so I would like talk about 'tired'. A subjective topic.

Tired with what?

Well. For those who didn't know me, I came from an Islamic background family, I mean my family is quite strongly uphold Islamic teaching. But ya, we're human - never missed out from mistake.

There're time when I feel so tired. Tired when in need of pleasing human more than pleasing Allah. Tired when I decided to change the way I dress up, so that people will look me attractively. Tired when I throw my hand sock and stocking to look more modern. Seriously, I'm too tired.

But yet....

Unable to stop myself from doing it. Why? Cos I scared if I changed back, means I wear back a full set of syariah-compliant, people/colleagues/client will see me as someone not modern or incapable. I scared it'll jeopardize my career.

Sometimes, I feel kinda hypocrite. When working, I dress up that way. And when I'm with family, I wear back my big size tudung, wear the stockings.

If you ask me, which way I'm more comfortable - absolutely its the one with family. I feel more content, I don't need to wear something that I don't like, I wear something that I feel comfortable, something that is syariah-compliant, and something that I wear for Allah.

I'm a mere human beings. I knew I changed so much. I knew. There're times I blame myself for living a life without purpose - I mean, previously I promise myself I'm going to bring up Islam, make Islam proud, I'm going to live the Islamic way of living, I'm going to prove to the world that muslim can shines too as long its comply with the shari'a.

Yet, I changed.

Its true what prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, those who hold Islam strongly in the almost end of time will be like strangers walking in the world ('Ghuraba'). People will look at them strangely when in fact they're practising the right/true Islamic teaching.

Those who try to live the Islamic way fully will face a lot of challenges especially in working world.




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